meanspirited roadhouse

A bit over a year ago, I began making some major changes in my life. I decided it was time to consciously manifest my life. And I wanted my life to be more fun – happier. So, along with lots of other changes, I began dancing again, b/c I love to dance and it makes me happy.


Now dancing is nothing new to me. I’ve been dancing in some form or other most of my life and have been partner dancing since Junior High School.  Growing up in Texas, it was second nature to learn and dance the two step, waltz, cotton-eye joe, etc.  So I began exploring the partner dance scene in my current city and found, much to my proverbial delight, that there is some kind of dance every night here – in fact, there are multiple choices most nights.

I chose to start learning salsa, tango and blues dancing. I also began going back to the waltz dances I used to attend. I have since found that blues dancing is my favorite, with salsa a close second. I don’t do much tango dancing anymore, but the tango moves are great for fusioning into blues.

I’ve run into a dalai lama (dilemma) lately, though:  In the last couple of weeks, I have been manifesting dance partners who like to point out how wrong I am. And if you have done any partner dancing, you know that it is NOT okay for one partner to point out to another what they are doing wrong – it is just bad juju. It’s like a partner-dance rule. The polite thing to do is just to ignore a mistake or blunder or lack of skill / knowledge and enjoy the dance.  But that is definitely not what has been happening.

So being who I am (this person who is on a mission to figure my life and myself out and make both of those things fabulous), I finally, last night, after coming home late from a mostly very fun blues dance – but which also contained several instances of partners pointing out my short-comings or my blunders – began to try and figure out why this is happening. Because my goal is to have fun. And it is not fun to have your mistakes/blunders/missteps constantly pointed out to you. We are human, we fuck up now and then – especially when dancing with someone new.  I want the common, and customary, courtesy of being treated with kindness extended to me everywhere, and especially on the dance floor. Being an Abraham fan, I began to look at my own thoughts and feelings about dancing and dance partners.

Abraham points out that we will get what we are focused on, what we are thinking and talking about. So it makes sense that b/c this is pissing me off, and I am thinking about it and bitching about it to myself in my head, that I have been getting more of it. One of my favorite Abraham quotes talks about how if people are being rude to you, then you are either being rude also, or you are focused on rudeness and thinking about it and talking about it.

Abraham also points out that it doesn’t matter why something started; we don’t have to figure it out. We don’t need to go back and analyze it and see where and why it started, where we went wrong. The idea is to just start from where we find ourselves now and go forward, constantly correcting and tweaking our course as we go.

So here are my course corrections:

  • No more dance lessons, of any kind, for now (where I will be putting myself in the position to be watched closely and constantly critiqued/corrected)
  • Treat each person who asks me to dance as the gift that they are, as the Light that they are; be happy and grateful to be dancing; smile at them; treat them with respect – no matter their level of skill / experience as compared to mine
  • Focus on my past, very wonderful experiences of partner dancing (like the compliments I have received on my dancing and my ability to follow well)
  • Play over and over in my head how great it feels to be sailing along, dancing well, receiving smiles and nods of encouragement from my partner – and the look of satisfaction on my partner’s face at the end of the dance
  • Don’t correct anyone!
  • Anytime I try and go to my own ‘mean-spirited roadhouse’ (“Half-heartedness doesn’t reach into majesty. You set out to find God, but then you keep stopping for long periods at meanspirited roadhouses.” ~Rumi), I will stop the thought and gently ask myself my usual question in this type of case:  “Grace, sweetie, do you really want to manifest more of that?” At which point I usually laugh, say “no” to myself and insert the good playlist/thoughts instead.

I’ll let you know how it goes, as I usually go to at least 2 different dances each week.

An update on July 9, 2013:  It has worked. I have made, and continue to adhere to, the course corrections. I am having more fun. No one is correcting me or pointing out my mistakes/missteps.  I have asked a few questions of experienced dancers to get some pointers, and they were kind and brief – perfect.  I am gonna continue in this direction, b/c I like the results. Cheers! 🙂

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