spiral dance

I’m so sure of you
in the night
amid the stars

private

shy

sheltered

the soft darkness wraps around
our merged energies that
reach out for each other
even before we actually touch

the early morning is the same
feeling you thinking
of me as I think of you

perhaps you get up later
than me and are dreaming of me
as I eat breakfast
remembering your smile
the touch that lingered
a bit longer than normal

or did it?

as the Sphere spins
the sun seems to travel across the sky
and in the harsh, hot light
of noon
I begin to doubt
what I was so sure
of just an hour ago

feeling so happy and optimistic
loved
desired

it seems miles and years away
from last night
so far
yet just right there
on the tip
of my mind’s tongue

doubt that what I
felt from you
is real
am I making it up
just b/c I
am smitten and want
to have you want me too?
is it ego?
is it desperation?
is it silly?
is it just a crush?
is it love?

how can he NOT like all this?
I try to laugh at myself
in the glaring noon mirror
squinting into the blinding brilliance
struggling to see

and then I am
awash in doubt
and
dread to see you again
the next time
wondering if time and space
have changed us somehow

or was there even really anything there to alter?