Monthly Archives: August 2013

I wait

it looks hopeless from here
it feels closed

sometimes I see a faint
glimmer under the door
but mostly it is dark
with some blueblack
and thick

I wait

this is taking me all the way back
to places I don’t even remember
because those places were not mine
but apparently they
still live in here in some form

I am trying to just ride it out
want to honor the process
and not rush
want to be really done when I’m done
want to know no proverbial stone
was left unturned
as we reach those nice heavy stones
at the bottom of all of this mess
like foundation rocks on the stream bed

the water has been mucked
stirring and shifting
the moving about of the rocks
and the morass covering them
has muddied the water
I can’t see anything
can only feel my way ’round
with my heart’s hands
bumping into old places
only to yelp and jump back again

but mostly I am tired
and want to just sleep the long sleep
the sleep of notknowing
but I know that sleep doesn’t
really even exist
I know death
have been there and back
there’s more restive than rest about it

time has become unmanageable now
almost cheeky
it even flows backward
I think
just to see if I’m tracking
and I am not

the water must clear again at some point
mustn’t it?

I wait

contents of the Lightwork Handbook

In the Beginning

The category “the lightwork handbook” is intended to cover many aspects of light/energy work. Having done light/energy work for 20 years now, I am always getting questions from folks about how to clear themselves or their homes/businesses, how to do energy work (similiar to Reiki and Hands on Healing), etc. So I offer in this category some of the same information I have been teaching in my classes for many years. Please feel free to comment on any article with questions, and I will do my best to answer. If I don’t personally know the answer, I will channel it for you from the Masters.

I will cover:
*How to Clear Yourself and your Space/Home/Business
*How to Meet and Communicate with Your Spirit Guides/Guardian Angels
*How to Discover and Change the Unconscious Beliefs that are Creating Your Life
*Open to Channeling Messages and Healing Energy
*Recommended Books
*Working with Colors
*Working with Chakras and the Energy Bodies

#1 define ‘walk-in’

Definition of a walk-in
A walk-in is a soul/essence/entity that has an agreement with a born-in to change places in a (usually adult) body.  A ‘born-in’ is the soul that originally came in when the physical body was born. The born-in inhabits the body around physical birth time and up until the walk-in takes its place.

Usually, there is a period of Earth time when the walk-in and the born-in take turns and may both be in the body off and on. This is to get both of them ready for the switch and to walk-in-soul3accustom the body to the new energy. The born-in will be traveling out of the body more than usual, giving the walk-in a chance to inhabit the body.

Now understand that this is not a possession. There is an agreement on a very high level between the born-in and walk-in. The agreement usually happens during the born-in’s time in the body and usually centers around the born-in not wanting to complete the lifetime. Instead of wasting a perfectly good body to suicide (in whatever form – it is quite possible to manifest one’s physical death without committing actual suicide), an agreement is made for the born-in to leave and the walk-in to take its place in the body. The walk-in usually comes in with a mission of some sort – usually of a rather high-leveled nature.

When looking back, one can usually see changes in behavior that began to take place at some point in the timeline of the person.  For instance, maybe seemingly out of the blue, that person begins to do research about spiritual matters, or begins to meditate, or begins to dress or talk differently. These changes may even begin to occur before the official, permanent switch. The personality may change – either radically or subtly.

Sending a walk-in into a body is usually an ‘intervention’ type of thing to do. However, know also, that the agreement between born-in and walk-in may take place before the born-in comes into the body. The walk-in possibility (or certainty) may be known by the born-in when it initially comes into the baby body.  It may have an agreement to come in and be physical for a time, knowing that the walk-in will take over at some point.

Also know that there can be more than one walk-in to inhabit the same body. Either at the same time or one after the other – in linear, Earth time. More than one walk-in is not common, but does happen.

The Physical Body

The human physical body has its own, unique consciousness separate from the soul-self. And a body can survive for some time – sometimes even years – without a soul inhabiting the body. It often will deteriorate b/c of not having a soul present to channel energy into it, but can limp along nonetheless for a while.  The soul normally provides the energy for the body to heal, operate smoothly, etc. – see it as the ‘electricity’ that powers the body’s systems.

When the body senses that the soul is leaving or wants to leave/die, it may start the death process for the physicality. So that even when the new soul is situated, it may continue to deteriorate. It is very important to communicate with the body and let it know that the new walk-in will be inhabiting and taking care of the body on an energy level. Bodies can try and ‘reject’ souls much like a body can reject an organ transplant. Signs of rejection or lack of acceptance may be aliments that begin after the walk-in comes in, such as:  food/chemical allergies and sensitivities, disease, illness, body degeneration in some form, malfunction of systems/organs.

Before the walk-in comes in fully, the adjustment period gives the body and new soul time to get accustomed to each other, however, the process is usually an ongoing one, even after the new soul is fully present on Earth in that body.  Some walk-ins and the relevant body may never fully adjust and may always have physical problems. Most of these cases are those of walk-ins who are not consciously aware of their walk-in status.

Because the new walk-in inherits the born-in’s memories (stored in cellular memory throughout the body), most walk-ins are not consciously aware of their walk-in status. But most walk-ins quickly begin to lose those early memories and have a difficult time recalling things that occurred before they walked in.

And because the walk-in is a new, different entity/soul than who used to be in the body, they will often make major changes in that life – simply b/c they have different tastes and preferences. This may affect lots of areas of the life. Examples:  divorce and breakups – b/c they are not attracted to the same souls as the born-in was and don’t have those connections with those souls.  A total change in taste and style as regards clothes, interior decoration of their home, food preferences, friends, activities, life style. They often change professions too.

So while being a walk-in is supposed to be a good thing, it can cause a lot of upheaval for those people and loved ones that were associated with the born-in.  Usually no one is consciously aware of the switch, so to loved-ones, this seems like a sudden, unexplained, bizarre change of behavior and personality that is often perceived as very negative. Family members and spouses are often left confused, angry, sad, etc. at the sudden changes. Many walk-ins split entirely from the former life/family and begin again, attracting those souls with whom they have connections from other times and places.

For some great basic info on walk-ins, read Ruth Montgomery’s books:  Strangers Among Us and Aliens Among Us.


Moving away from the eye
it begins
once again
to get sloppy
and I watch it rotate from my birds-eye
relieved to not be a part of that
but I can hear the waves of thunder
all the way over here

when he speaks I can feel
the small slow brown hurricane he carries
inside his chest
wanting to do what not only is correct
but also what is right
it spins slowly
he takes his time
it is home to him now

I feel the heavy brownness
of it
how it feels thick and congested
unhappy and weighty
I can also feel the uncertainty there
that has become his certainty
and the obligation
his way of living now
his norm

mostly it feels heavy
like a burden he picked up
or that built up slowly over time
and now he doesn’t quite know how to put it down
doesn’t know if he even wants
it would seem unnatural to be without it now
not right
surely there is a completion here to be navigated
I feel him feeling

like that dream that wakes you
but without a conclusion
and you wonder if that was
the dream
or if like an unfinished movie
it is still playing somewhere
and you just woke up before
the natural end

karma is like that
I burn it until it is gone
but there seldom seems
to be a real conclusion
an ending
annotated by the credits

I don’t always know when
we’re done
when it is completely burned
because I’m too busy
wondering what happened
where did I go wrong this time

only nothing went wrong
it actually went according to Plan
it’s just done

but now I see

I am, you see,
I don’t need you to find me
don’t need you to tell me how
I might more pleasing be
why I should be less scary for your palate
more tame

how I might better fit into you

how the simple, easy
grasp of my Divine
my Joy
invites your skepticism
behind which crouches fear

yes, I can see it there
fueling your arrogance
I know I scare you
but that doesn’t make you right
and me wrong

don’t need
pronouncing me frightening
in my simplicity
my certainty
inside my happy life

and what makes you think
being an ‘alien from outer space’
is an insult, anyway?
is that really the only best
you could come up with?
spitting those words at me
like a slap

but only after I’d turned you down

were you hoping I would take that bait?
thank you
go sell your co-dependence elsewhere

I am not lost
I am not blind
I found myself long ago

you say all these things
with your own certainty
good for you!
now go be your certain self away from me

she touched down

Following only that exquisite call of desire
She left those heavenly realms
and touched down upon the breast of the Divine One

How much weight?
How much?

and cried surprised watery warm tears
For the first time
in thousands of Earth’s years

cream and sugar?

I need a man
I need to get laid

that’s not it either

I need and want
a man
to meet me where I am right now

and I am right Here
just me
not everyone’s cup of proverbial tea
that’s for sure

so maybe I just need someone
who doesn’t leave the cup of tea
once it’s grown cold
who continues to drink until
the cup is drained
angles the cup to get the last
delicious amber drops

or maybe just someone who
actually really drinks tea
not preferring coffee or beer instead
not someone who says yes to tea
just b/c that’s all that’s available
in the moment
but who would really rather have milk

I want someone to call
to let them know I am
leaving the city on a trip

because that is part of a loved one’s

I need an my emergency contact
fulfilling not only all those
but also
fulfilling my desire

the desire
to feel someone else’s
energy smack up against mine
and laugh
in nighttime dream journeys
as we sleep

why should I cry for you

Using Every Day Poems prompt again today and a few lines borrowed from
Sting’s song, Why Should I Cry for You:

why should I cry for you?
why would you want me to?

all those forgotten promises
made in love
did we ever really love?
I remember saying
it but I cannot remember the feeling
of it
cannot associate the feeling I now know
as love
with you

why would you want me to?
but you do, don’t you? Want me to cry
were we ever naked
pressed skintoskin

I find nothing in here but indifference
unable to remember your kiss
I only see your mouth pulled down in shouting anger
not soft with kisses
I find only a void
wide and growing

So why am I crying for you? for us?
lost words
lost love
all washed away
swallowed up by first aversion
and then indifference
and now spilling out onto
my shirt front

you took so much
soaking up what I gave away
always hoping
to get even just a fraction
in return
but never receiving
I finally gave in
gave up
does that make me needy or you selfish?
can’t decide
never could

maybe that’s for what I cry
still not knowing
after all this time
why we failed
after making love countless times
the thought is now repulsive and base
too horrible to imagine

in the one and half minutes it took me
to tell you I can’t stand the pain
and therefore must leave
we went from lovers to people
who are not allowed to touch anymore


to see her is like watching a stream of water
flow through and around
like suddenly realizing
floating flakes of the first snowfall

it’s delight
it’s sacred

she speaks in heart
in poem
each and every smile
her hand just so on your arm
a covenant

every movement a lovely prayer
every breath a dance
a wish
a sacrament
floating up and out of her into
the All
so careful yet so solid

every day she reaches up to shake
hands with the leaves
as she passes underneath
old familiar friends are they

and yet
“my mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun”
for it is not the world’s beauty
she possesses
not what you crave

she moves through time and space
with such love
such care
with one practical
earthy eye on the weather
hoping the rain will baptize
her again on the way home
soak through to join her own juices
and her other on the insects below her

brother ant ascends her foot
so determined
between toes
caution little brother
she tells him
I am still learning to be so graceful
so full
yet essential
but am still thick and clumsy

and her heart
her heart
is always seeking
feeling for familiar
kindred spirits
in all those seen and unseen
realms where she travels
even as her feet tread
upon the Divine One

the medicine man took a first, one look
and immediately christened her
always a foot in each world


always navigating both
at the same time

so if she seems far and away
from who you thought she
was in Earth’s yesterday
have no doubt
she’ll be back around
any minute now

she probably just got distracted
by some lovely thought-form
that floated past
and caught her inner eye

to shade my eyes with love

she reached up to shade my eyes with love
to shield me from myself
to distract me
to remind me
to take me as quickly as possible back to kindness
to turn me away from that twisted dark road
I was staring down
preparing myself once again
for that mean journey

and her arms from there dropped and enclosed me so easily
so naturally and softly
that I never even questioned them being there
never wondered at being held so sweetly
so gently
feeling the violent soft strength of her
by such
a wild
creature as she

she held me back to me
so firmly
and resolute into the curve of her neck
that I turned my head
wanted to rest there in her richness
and depth
the scent of her summer skimmed skin filling me up
and drawing me down into her undertow

but my cheekbone began to rattle against her collar bone
and my mouth skinned back tight into the skull’s
timeless gaping grin of grief
my teeth jumping against her throat
sloshing liquids
my body doing that silent diaphragm stutter dance

and then I was afraid to pull away from her
afraid she would see the hideous
raw skeleton I had become against the calmness of her compassion
how she had split me open so easily
so quickly so simply
had distilled me down to elements


then without pulling away from her
but finally still again
and with no small amount of fear
I set my worn carpetbag upon her heart’s table for unpacking

it sat there but she did not look at it
she knew its contents
did not need to actually see

I pulled out fear first
a small squarish package
wrapped in thick new crispy brown paper and knotted with twine

as I placed it upon her table
she picked it up and began to work silently at the tight knot
never looking at me
giving me that privacy
the next gift

she knew I would not join in helping her
with a knot I did not want undone
so instead I reached into the bag and pulled out shame next

shame was a stack of slices
bound with frayed-ends twine
another knot
unlike fear in its stiff newness
it had no wrapping and was old and worn
the little square slices curled at the corners
like a bound stack of old flat used dry tea bags

each thing in the bag was set upon her heart’s table
some things expanded upon their exit from the bag
growing bigger once brought out into the light
she reached for each
opened each
careful not to tear
not to haste
with practical deft hands and kind breath
incanting over each
eyes moist with understanding
she gently set each one free
of its bindings

standing rigid scared timid
eyes wrinkled shut
afraid to look at the mess I’d made on her generous table
afraid to breathe
afraid to be seen by her

she placed her cool hand on my jaw
and the calm melted my sight back
even reached my heart
I returned to find her smiling eyes
looking into mine
which she then turned toward the once laden table

and to my great and grateful! surprise
found that each mean thing
had just flown away
into love
under her care-full breath