why should I cry for you

Using Every Day Poems prompt again today and a few lines borrowed from
Sting’s song, Why Should I Cry for You:

Indeed
why should I cry for you?
and
why would you want me to?

all those forgotten promises
made in love
did we ever really love?
I remember saying
it but I cannot remember the feeling
of it
cannot associate the feeling I now know
as love
with you

why would you want me to?
but you do, don’t you? Want me to cry
were we ever naked
pressed skintoskin
mouthtomouth?

I find nothing in here but indifference
unable to remember your kiss
I only see your mouth pulled down in shouting anger
not soft with kisses
I find only a void
wide and growing

So why am I crying for you? for us?
lost words
lost love
all washed away
swallowed up by first aversion
and then indifference
and now spilling out onto
my shirt front
staining

you took so much
soaking up what I gave away
always hoping
to get even just a fraction
in return
but never receiving
I finally gave in
gave up
does that make me needy or you selfish?
can’t decide
never could

maybe that’s for what I cry
still not knowing
after all this time
why we failed
why
after making love countless times
the thought is now repulsive and base
too horrible to imagine

in the one and half minutes it took me
to tell you I can’t stand the pain
anymore
and therefore must leave
we went from lovers to people
who are not allowed to touch anymore

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