karma

Moving away from the eye
it begins
once again
to get sloppy
and I watch it rotate from my birds-eye
relieved to not be a part of that
but I can hear the waves of thunder
all the way over here

when he speaks I can feel
see
the small slow brown hurricane he carries
inside his chest
wanting to do what not only is correct
but also what is right
it spins slowly
he takes his time
it is home to him now

I feel the heavy brownness
of it
how it feels thick and congested
unhappy and weighty
sad
I can also feel the uncertainty there
that has become his certainty
and the obligation
his way of living now
his norm

mostly it feels heavy
like a burden he picked up
or that built up slowly over time
and now he doesn’t quite know how to put it down
doesn’t know if he even wants
to
it would seem unnatural to be without it now
not right
surely there is a completion here to be navigated
I feel him feeling

like that dream that wakes you
but without a conclusion
and you wonder if that was
the dream
or if like an unfinished movie
it is still playing somewhere
and you just woke up before
the natural end

karma is like that
I burn it until it is gone
but there seldom seems
to be a real conclusion
an ending
annotated by the credits

I don’t always know when
we’re done
when it is completely burned
because I’m too busy
wondering what happened
where did I go wrong this time

only nothing went wrong
it actually went according to Plan
it’s just done

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