Monthly Archives: November 2018

The Reasons a Soul Does not Cross Over or How to Become a Ghost.

In the many years I have been talking to ghosts, clearing houses, and taking ghosts home, I have discovered a few main reasons souls do not cross over—and then end up becoming ghosts. Here are just a few of the main reasons.

Fire and Brimstone

The most common reason relates to religion. Either they believed in hell and damnation and are afraid they did not measure up and don’t deserve to go to heaven, so that they are afraid to move or go anywhere, afraid it will be hell they are headed to. So they fearfully stay put. Or they had no spiritual/religious beliefs at all and don’t know what to expect, so they stay put because they are lost and confused.

Not Letting Go

Some souls are too concerned with the physical beings left living. They worry about their spouse, kids, or their parents. Their family is grieving so hard and is resisting letting them go so badly that they become so involved with trying to make the ones left behind feel better, that they stay—and keep staying, and staying—until they can’t remember why they were staying in the first place. They may stay Earthbound so long that their loved ones themselves die, and they don’t even know who these physical people are anymore, these people who live in the house where they used to live.

Some souls do come back, after crossing over, to become Guides for their loved ones—whether for a short while or for a long time. But this is not a good idea until that soul has crossed over first. I always tell the souls I escort home that they are welcome to come back and visit as much as they want once they’ve gone home first.

Souls can also be strongly connected to a place or time in their lives. They may love the home where they grew up. Maybe their spouse died upstairs in bed in that house. Maybe they were born in that house, their own parents later died of old age in that house, they were married in the parlor downstairs, and they died in bed upstairs. They could have a lot of reasons to cling to a place and not cross over.

You Can Help Them Cross Over

The best thing to do when a loved-one dies? Release them and tell them you are sad but okay with them crossing over. Tell them that after they have crossed over, they are then welcome to come back and visit—if you are comfortable with that. Wish them well and Godspeed. Be happy for them that they get to go home and that they will be there to help you when you get ready to cross over.

And also do your own, personal grieving. This is important for you. Just because you know they are going home (to a good place), doesn’t mean you are necessarily suddenly cured of all your sadness. It’s okay to tell them to cross over even while you are sad at the same time. You can be accepting and grieve simultaneously.


Sometimes souls get confused after dying traumatically. Trauma can mean anything from a violent, sudden death to a lingering, long, suffering death. When a soul dies after a long time in a coma, for instance, they can be confused about whether they are actually dead or not, and about where they should go. They have been hanging around a comatose body for so long, that they become confused. Any type of trauma can cause confusion and make the soul wonder where it is supposed to be. They may go to their own funeral, go to the house they lived in, and try to talk to their friends and family, not understanding why no one will acknowledge them.

People who Don’t Know They’re Dead

An interesting class of ghost is that of those who don’t realize they are dead (again, folks that have been half alive—comatose—for a long time can experience this). This can also cause time loops (see below). Many folks who have had a near-death experience (NDE) and come back to tell us about it, did not realize their body was dead. They followed it around for a long time, trying to figure out what to do and what was happening.

Not realizing your body has died can happen for lots of reasons, not the least of which is suicide. They can’t remember how they got to this weird in-between place, they don’t know what to do, and everyone acts as if they aren’t there, so no one will answer their questions to inform them of any options.  

Time Loops

Some folks are in such death denial that they continue living their lives as if nothing unusual happened after they leave their physical body. Some of those may get caught up into a time loop. These may or may not be related to shadow people. What often happens is that a soul will relive some incident (maybe even their death scene) over and over. When it loops through to the ending of that scene, they just start living it over again. Poor dears.

Time loops can involve the actual souls, themselves, or it can also be an energetic “memory” stuck in a place. Time loops may be about the happiest time of their life, or the scariest, or the most meaningful, or, as I have already stated, their death. Time loops have a higher percentage of happening if the death was very violent and/or unusual. Violent murders can, unfortunately, easily cause tragic time loops.

Time loops can be the cause of a type of shadow people. Shadow people are sometimes detected by homeowners as translucent, shadowy figures that are in their home, but seem to be uninvolved with the home’s current, physical occupants. They describe the shadowy figures as going about their own business, seeming to have no awareness of the actual physical humans present. The shadow figures do not interact with, react to, or even notice the homeowner and the homeowner’s family.

They do not interact for two reasons: 1. They are an energetic memory only, so that no actual souls are even present, or 2. a soul(s) is present, but it is so caught up in the drama of the memory loop (and it believes the memory loop is their Real life), that it is aware of nothing else—including actual physical humans.

The Good News

All of these are fixable and easily resolved. I don’t like any soul to suffer in any way, so it is important to me to make sure I get as many souls as possible back where they belong:  Home. And trust me, even if they are nice, you don’t want a ghost living with you.