coke bottle bottom

those warm melty caramel
yellowbrown eyes
so deep
comforting
so rich
thick
they are like the candy
so sweet but also savory
a substantial toothhold
becoming delightful warm syrup
on the tongue
transporting

those eyes
take me to the smell
of terrace stones warmed by
departed sun
summer nights
with wine
and laughter
bare feet
the smell of late
night coffee brewing
the thick warm silk of the cream
in the cup

unlike cokebottlebottom eyes
clear
aquabluegreenclear
looking all the way down
to the bottom
can see the ocean bed
below and through
seeing the nakedness
while also looking right through it
unable to gauge the depth
too clear

so not unreadable
so exposed and shocking
so unsettling
especially in sunlight
I always pull back
at first intersection
of gaze
startled but trying to quickly recover
and not show it

really not cold
or reptilian
as they suggest
do not let it prejudice you
those seethrough eyes
they simply
seem to reveal too much
and conceal at the same time
can’t judge the depth

is it safe to jump in?

but now I see

I am, you see,
found
already
I don’t need you to find me
don’t need you to tell me how
I might more pleasing be
why I should be less scary for your palate
more tame

how I might better fit into you

how the simple, easy
grasp of my Divine
my Joy
invites your skepticism
sarcasm
behind which crouches fear

yes, I can see it there
fueling your arrogance
I know I scare you
but that doesn’t make you right
and me wrong

don’t need
you
pronouncing me frightening
in my simplicity
my certainty
inside my happy life

and what makes you think
being an ‘alien from outer space’
is an insult, anyway?
is that really the only best
you could come up with?
spitting those words at me
like a slap

but only after I’d turned you down

were you hoping I would take that bait?
no
thank you
go sell your co-dependence elsewhere

I am not lost
I am not blind
I found myself long ago

you say all these things
with your own certainty
good for you!
now go be your certain self away from me

attraversiamo

attraversiamo

I am here now, finally,
in this body
weighty, heavy
slogging through this lovely thickness that
is Earth
feeling time and space push against
this new skin
like that hot, thick breeze of
Southern summer

with the responsibility, the finality,
the humanity and mortality

of this suit

I can feel the different delicate textures:

of bone – how solid but not – how porous and beautiful,
muscle – the tough stringy version, the softer tender ones
fat – how it likes to hold on to toxins
fascia – so strong and heroic
and
blood – the thick, liquid richness of it – like a fluid garden

I feel the body, itself, sigh and try to settle,
wiggle in on itself like
an excited child fidgeting.
I talk to each cell, encouraging each separately

but I am losing sense of space
can’t grasp distance or direction anymore
can’t orient myself upon this Sphere
b/c it is all happening right Here
and I keep getting confused
and then laugh at myself

like I also lost time
some ‘time’ ago
b/c it is all happening right Now

longing

The far reaches call me
like the sweet, familiar
lover’s whisper against my hair
luring me, lulling me
seducing me into liquid warmth

to that place that feels like home

I want to fall into those known arms
want to feel the caress of home
against this longing,
soothing me back into myself
back into what I remember as mine