missing you

I didn’t want to fall in love with you. And in fact, I may just have a crush on you, b/c how can I really love you if I don’t really know you? It has been against all my good intentions that I fallen for you. I have been trying to ignore you. Then I tried to distract myself with someone, anyone, else. It has not worked.

I can feel all those other women, those groupies, waiting for you to notice them. I don’t want to be just another one of your groupies. I don’t want to just be waiting there in line with all of them. I can feel and see that metaphorical line – have always felt/seen it.

And you are very busy in your life, always traveling or taking a workshop – always going somewhere. I never go anywhere. I love my home and my life. It seems obvious to me that your passion is NOT a relationship – with me or anyone else. I feel so pathetic to have added myself to your line of women groupies.

Still, I want you to choose me over all those other groupies. I want you to pick me from out of the line, to come back and take my hand and bring me to the head of the queue and ask me to dance.  I want you to tell me I am different from all those other women in your groupie line. I want to be different from them. Sometimes I think I should do something so outrageous and daring that you will have to notice how unique I am. But I can only be myself; that’s all I’m really good at.

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